I'm not sure how often or how recently or if ever honestly I've mentioned that I struggle with anxiety and depression. If you read my blog regularly and notice that I'll post a lot and then not post for months or weeks it probably means I've been having a tough time. Honestly it sucks. I would love to be able to work my ass off all the time and devote as much time to this as I want but there are days and weeks sometimes where it's not possible. The way I would describe it is kind of having debilitating mental busyness. I have one million and one ideas and thoughts of what I want to do that all seem to rattle around and cyclone in my brain until all I want is to stop thinking.
I've come here to say all of this because I've been having a pretty shit time lately and have been crazily overwhelmed and feel like I'm not accomplishing anything. But what I want to work on here isn't lost it's just taking a lot longer than I'd like. This isn't a place where I post vapid photos or write empty opinionless pieces. I try to ensure that what I'm writing about I'm writing about because I loved it and I want someone else to know about it because I've loved it that much. I use a ton of stuff over the months but I only talk about what i really enjoy. I love writing about the things I like and I plan to keep doing it I don't do it as much as I'd like but I keep doing it because I enjoy it when I take the pressure off myself to "be consistent". I have some things I've tried this past month that I'm excited to share and I'll be sharing them very soon.
I'm not sure that this post had a point beyond venting that sometimes my anxiety is really bad and I don't execute things the way I'd like and that makes my anxiety worse. I'm sure I'm not the only one but it 100% affects what I produce here. I've learned that talking to people when I'm having a shit time helps and maybe reminding some of you that just because you get knocked around doesn't mean you should stop doing something you enjoy, even if it's not perfect all the time.
xx
D
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